The Labyrinth TRY!
by Kimxchan
Summary: I was insanely bored one day, and had just watched Labyrinth. Rating for a bit of flirting between Xel and Zel, as well as a tiny bit of cursing.
1. The Beginning? The author takes a trip t...

  
Author: *cough* Well, I'm really cheap and broke... and none of the characters I know are nice to me. *weep*... So I will read my own fricken' disclaimer. These characters... obviously... aren't mine. Afterall, if it wasn't a fanfic it wouldn't need a disclaimer(well, in most cases)... also, the story itself isn't really mine. It's Jim Henson's.... yupyup. Labyrinth. Good movie. Must see. Anyway... on with it. *holds up cheap-o sign*  
  
'The Labyrinth TRY'  
  
Author: Okay... I need the Slayers cast. Just... everyone get your asses out here and I'll pick and choose.  
  
Cast: *appears*  
  
Author: And since I have like... no money... just keep the clothes you have. Okay..... Here... cast list!  
Jareth..... Xelloss   
  
Xelloss: Yare, yare.... at least I get to be myself  
.  
Author: *glare* Sarah... Filia-chan  
Hoggle... Zelgadis  
  
Nicole: HEY! Zelgadis isn't an ugly little dwarf.  
  
Author: No, but I can't think of any better person.  
Ludo... Gourry  
Little Fox Dude... Jilas  
Fox Dude's Dog-  
  
Cast: OH NO YOU DON'T!!  
  
Author: *sweatdrop* Just a regular dog then...  
Toby... Val-chan  
  
Filia: NANI? I'm supposed to let Val-chan be with Namagomi for most of the fic?  
  
Author: Gomen.  
  
Filia: *hmph*  
  
Xelloss: *snicker*  
  
Author: *cough* So, one day... a lovely young girl-  
  
Xelloss: I think you forgot to cast someone...  
  
Author: It's Not Your TURN! Anyway... she was in a park, talking with herself when suddenly she realized-  
  
Filia: I don't talk to myself! *blush* I mean... 'Oh no! I'm late!!'  
*Filia rushes through town to her pottery shop, to find several scarey uh... customers outside*  
  
Lina: Filia!! I'm really hungry and I've been waiting for you to come back so I could leave Val-chan for almost five entire minutes!!  
  
Filia: I'm so sorry Lina-san!!  
  
Prince Phil: Well we'll be back later da-  
  
Lina, Filia: WAIT A SECOND!  
  
Lina: I'm supposed to be married to Phil? TO PHIL?  
  
Filia: That terrifying man is supposed to be my father???!?!  
  
Author: Shut up and work with it.  
  
Lina: *grumble* Well, go watch Val-chan. Took you long enough.  
  
Filia: I'm just not allowed to enjoy myself even for five extra minutes, is that it?  
  
Lina: No.  
  
Filia: *runs to her room and starts to cry, then suddenly looks up* ACK! ACK! ACK! MACE-SAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *rushes to Val-chan's room* How many times have I told you not to touch mace-sama????  
  
Val-chan: *pouts cutely and starts to cry*  
  
Filia: Oh! I'm tired of watching you...(not really, don't worry, it's just the script, Val-chan!) I wish....  
  
Low-Level Monsters: Allright!!!!  
  
Filia: I wish the mazoku would come and take you away right NOW!  
  
Val-chan: *poof*  
  
Filia: *facefault, frantic searching* Val-chan? Val-chan? Where are you?  
  
Xelloss: Sore wa, himitsu desu.  
  
Filia: *whips Mace-sama around* Xelloss!  
  
Xelloss: Now, now, Fi-chan... no need to do that. Just let me tease you unrelentlessly and I'll think about not killing Val-chan.  
  
Filia: Never, namagomi!!  
  
Xelloss: *opens his eyes* I don't think you realize how much power I have over his life.  
  
Filia: I can get him back!  
  
Xelloss: Sure... but first... *he teleports them both to outside the Labyrinth* you've got to get through that.  
  
Filia: *giggle* Oh that's easy. *starts to teleport*  
  
Xelloss: Without magic.  
  
Filia: What? No Fair!!  
  
Xelloss: See you in 13 hours Fi-chan!!! *giggle* 


	2. The End? Finally we can stop reading!

Author: Whatever. Continue....  
*silence* Hm? Oh... yes, my turn. So Filia-chan stomped through the Labyrinth. Or... tried to.  
  
Zelgadis: *lacklusterly* It's not a good idea to go in there.  
  
Filia: Oh? Why not Mister Zelgadis? (Pssst: why aren't you doing your job?)  
  
Zelgadis: *brightens, then stalks a humming, hammer wielding faerie and shoots it down*  
  
Filia: Bad Zelgadis.. Okay, bye-bye!  
  
Author: Then Filia couldn't find a way in.  
  
Filia: Author no baka! I'm too smart for this. *bashes a hole in the wall with Mace-sama*  
  
Elder-worm: This is wrong Filia-san!  
  
Filia: Oh go drown yourse- *blush* I mean... of course Elder-sama... I'll go the long and... interesting way.  
  
Elder: Good, my child.  
  
Filia: So... okay, this is silly. The wall just disapeared. Oh, and a door... oh no! Wait a second... please, not your favorite-  
  
Author: Shush.... *beam* Well the only way out of here is through one of these doors.  
  
Kopii Author: One of them leads to the castle at the center of the Labyrinth  
  
Author: And the other one leads to...  
  
Kopii Author: Ba-ba-ba-baaoom  
  
Author: Certain death!  
  
Both: Ooooooo!  
  
Filia: *sweatdrop* Okay... just drop me down the pit, would you?  
  
Author: *pout* Yea... after the super sugoi door bit, Fi-chan fell down a pit'o'groaping hands.  
  
Filia: *triple sweatdrop*  
  
Author: Well that's what you get. Fi-chan no baka went down and ran into...  
  
Zelgadis: Do you have a cure for me? I will do anything for you.  
  
Filia: I'm sorry Zelgadis... just... lets get this over with. Show me through the maze, eh?  
  
Zel: Right.  
  
Xelloss: Yare, yare... Zelgadis... betraying me?  
  
Zelgadis: I hate you.  
  
Xelloss: Is that any way to treat your lov-*Zelgadis blushes and clamps his hand over Xelloss's mouth*  
  
Zelgadis: You're supposed to like /her/, remember?  
  
Xelloss: What's wrong with liking both?  
  
Filia: *angry blush*  
  
Xelloss: Selfish dragon! You can't have all of me.  
  
Filia: I don't want any of you!!!  
  
Author: Okay... Zelgadis and Filia escape the tunnel, seperate.. and...  
  
Filia: Gourry-san... how did you get stuck in the tree?  
  
Gourry: Gourry.... stuck.  
  
Filia: *twitch* Yes... how?  
  
Gourry: Smell bad?  
  
Filia: (*muttered* Perhaps...) It's not that part yet.  
  
Gourry: Okay. *cuts himself loose and hits his head* Got any food?  
  
Filia: Gomen....  
  
Gourry: Oh...  
  
Filia: Lets just go through the creepy woods.  
  
Gourry: Whatever you say Filia.  
  
Author: So first Gourry sticks a metal ring in his mouth, and then they enter said creepy woods. Gourry, the eternally stupid, falls in a hole. Then for some reason we cut to Zelgadis and Xelloss.  
  
Xelloss: Feed her the peach.  
  
Zelgadis: What was that line about love triangles?  
  
Xelloss: Not till later, Zel dear. Oh... you've got to go!  
  
Author: And Filia, grateful for loosing Gourry meets...  
  
Filia: ACK! Lizard men!  
  
Lizard men: *hiss, sing* We'll show you a good time..!!!  
  
Filia: *makes good use of Mace-sama and leaves Lizard men in pieces on ground* Whew.. Oh, hello Zelgadis-san.  
  
Zelgadis: Wasn't I supposed to save you?  
  
Filia: Umm... sure. That means... *blush*  
  
Ameria-Faerie: Wait! This part of the fic is unjust!!! You can't just send my Zelgadis-san to the Bog of Eternal Stench.  
  
Lina, offstage: Oh, sure you aren't just jealous because Filia gets to kiss him?  
  
Ameria: *blush*  
  
Author: So Fi-chan.... pats Zelgadis on the head for fear of the Justice Swirly... and then they get dumped in the Bog of Eternal Stench.  
  
Zelgadis: *turns green* Ugh. I thought I would never smell something worse than Lina and Gourry after a big meal...   
  
Filia: I am not so slowly beccomming a sick person.......   
  
Author: They fall.  
  
Gourry: Zel!!   
  
Filia: Nice to see you too.  
  
Author: And continue on.....  
  
Gourry: It smells awful in here.  
  
Zel: How perceptive. Bridge..  
  
*....*  
  
Filia: *attempts to crose bridge with Gourry*  
  
Jilas: Stop! You've got the sword of light!! Gimme that!  
  
Gourry: No, it's mine!!  
  
Zel: *crosses bridge*  
  
Filia: Oh hello Jilas-san.  
  
Jilas: Oh! Filia-san. Well, lets go then.  
  
Filia: Thank you. I'm sure Val-chan appreciates it. We're saving his life here.  
  
Jilas: Ooooh! I almost forgot!  
  
Author: *some boring stuff happens, then they meet a big ole' mech and can't get through.  
  
Zelgadis: *stops axe with head without flincing* Let's go.  
  
Filia: Wait... Mace-sama can hurt you but..  
  
Zel: *passes out*  
  
Filia: Oh.  
  
Xelloss: Hehe..... It seems all my henchmen are busy taking care of a problem.... so, just skip to the castle.  
  
Filia: This is where I say goodbye.  
  
Gourry: Bye! *waves cheerful like*  
  
Zel: ...  
  
Jilas: See you again soon!  
  
Author: She meets Xelloss in a chamber of stairs...  
  
Filia: Namagomi! Give Val-chan back!!  
  
Xelloss: *hanging upside down in front of her* But Fi-chan... you said I could take him.... come on... why do you need him anyway? Wouldn't you like to be selfish and-  
  
Filia: NO!! I need Val-chan and... and.... Um...  
  
Xelloss: Oh just do the dumb line.  
  
Filia: *sigh* You have no power over me.  
  
Entire cast of mazoku: *dissolves into giggles*  
  
Author: She goes home much less selfish.  
  
Filia: I wasn't selfish to begin with! Xelloss: How is that possible?  
  
Author: *glare*  
  
Filia: *sweatdrop* Um... Val-chan! Hi! Okay, I promise I won't be a stupid Filia-mama anymore... But...  
  
Mirror: Yes... here we are.  
  
Everybody: *unenthusiatically waves stupid flags* Woo... yay. Yay.... wooo.... *leaves*  
  
Author: *sweatdrops* So concludes this.... silly and non original or funny fic. Congratulations. It's over. Have a mint. 


End file.
